The Telegraph, Kolkata Supplement 28-5-2006

Survival Strategies

Issue: I am a 36 year old woman and have been married since the last ten years. That we’ve struck a bad patch in our marriage is an understatement. In fact our marriage is on the rocks. I have recently come to know that my husband is having an affair with his colleague. His colleague is also married and even drops in at our place once in a while. While my husband is no paragon of virtue, I had never thought he’d stoop so low. He is not at all repentant about this issue. Instead, he says that he needs to have two women in his life since they cater to his different needs. After lying through his teeth all his life, he wants me believe that he wouldn’t leave me high and dry. He has even threatened to tarnish my reputation if I file for divorce. Am I expected to roll out the red carpet for his girlfriend? What should I do to get out of the situation? I don’t have anyone to turn to.

Response by Suhel Seth: Nothing, just pray he doesn’t have a third need. Or else you’ll be fighting not one but two women. Now while we are on the subject, let me tell you MOST men have flings. It is in their DNA. They are mentally deranged and sexually unfaithful. That is just how men are. The sooner you come to terms with this reality the better off you will be. Now as far as YOUR husband is concerned, the bloke is unrepentant and my hunch is it is that which upsets you rather than the affair itself? Which too is something you will have to contend with.