Don’t look at others, follow your heart for true happiness

by Peter Cajander

Why do we continuously worry about how we are perceived by others? We often desire acceptance from others. We are insecure about ourself and need confirmation from other people.

We are looking for acceptance from others by pondering about what others may think about us. In most cases, the truth is that others are not thinking about us at all.

Why do we continuously worry about how we are perceived by others?

Attempting to please others by finding out what they might like or think is tough. Our society is full of images and “role models” that broadcast what is “in” at the moment. The media follows the young, beautiful, and rich. People consume these illusions in great numbers.

We want to be associated with the success – or the illusion – of the greater life. But the happiest people are those who find their own way. These are the people who set new rules.

Finding the inner self is not easy. Since our childhood, we have been raised in the middle of different paradigms and social expectations. We are expected to behave a certain way and become just like other people (e.g. successful, famous). It is hard to realize what it is to be ourself.

Rene Descartes, one of the most famous western philosophers, did not accept anything per se. He reconstructed his own perception of his existence from real metaphysical fact – he might have doubted everything else, but he did not doubt his existence. Descartes only accepted things he could prove by his own methodology and thinking.

It is worthwhile to question things around us. Why is a good question to ask for almost everything we do. Often we accept everything at face value. As a result, we are filled with other people’s ideas; we can not distinguish ourselves from other people’s expectations. Being able to know and live in a way that we really feel is the right way is a wonderful thing.

When we get the right answers from within, there is no need to look for acceptance from outside. Accepting ourselves and being content with our lives are the most important steps in our existence. We have to take the first step and do the hard work, but then we can also enjoy the rewards, like Descartes in the seventeenth century.